I don’t hate men, I am not a lesbian (although I support and love those who are), I have never burned a bra, I do not want to take over the world and create a radical feminist utopia (although you have to admit, its pretty cool in theory), and I hate it when others project their own skewed perceptions of feminism onto my beliefs, without ever consulting me on what my beliefs really are.
Every feminist has different beliefs, depending on her own personal experience. There is no single feminist manifesto that we all follow. The closest to this is each of our personal declarations of our commitment to ensuring both sexes are treated with the equal respect they are due. This declaration usually occurs around the same time that you come out as a feminist and tell the world that you care. It is hard, because it doesn’t seem to be a popular paradigm at this point, but to all the beautiful, strong individuals who are able to admit to being one when asked, or at least to being a feminist ally, good for you. 
If you wish to educate yourself on what feminism is all about, talk to them. Go to the Women’s Resource Centre, there is plenty of information there. If you are interested in what it means to me personally, call me up for a coffee/beer/hot chocolate and we’ll talk. But until then, do not place your stereotypes on me.
The general perception of feminism makes it seem as though we are all militant radicals, and nothing could be further from the truth. Calling every Feminist a radical is like saying every follower of Islam is a fundamentalist or terrorist. It is completely untrue.
I am a feminist, and I will continue to work towards creating a safe, positive environment for other women on this campus, in this country, and around the world. My focus happens to be on eco-feminism, education, and creating safe spaces for victims of violence or prejudice or oppression.
I do think the world has been quite screwed up for a very long time, and yeah, the old, singularly patriarchal world order is largely responsible for the imbalance. I do not want to replace it with a matriarchy, I want to work with you to build a world where we all respect each other, regardless of being male/female/other.
That being said, I do enjoy going to university, I do enjoy being able to vote, I do enjoy cars, especially fast ones, and my cooking skills are quite limited, but I will make you that sandwich as long as you’re willing to deal with the potential food poisoning later, and I enjoy feminist-friendly men immensely. (I mean come on, is there anything sexier than a guy who respects you, and treats you as an equal? Cares about what you think/need/want/feel? Loves your body as much as your heart and mind? And is still amazing in bed!?!)
I love to dance, I love to bake, I have become quite good at knitting as well. I like pretty dresses, but I despise high heels. I love those silly romantic things that guys do, and yeah, its cute when you hold the door for me (as long as you let me open them for you too every once in awhile lol). I am actually a rather feminine feminist, but don’t be alarmed, I can still bitch you out for sexist/misogynistic/anti-feminist actions just as easily in a skirt as I can in a 3pc. suit. I do not have a vendetta against all of mankind, just those (male OR female) with archaic views towards the roles of women and men in society.
Feminism to me is about offering equal access to opportunities, especially education. The socially constructed gender roles are harmful to both sexes, as some women CAN be firefighters, surgeons, CEOs or professors and some men DO enjoy being house-husbands, teachers, and nurses. Its not about lowering standards, its about offering equal opportunity to the women who can do it as well or better than their male counterparts and vice versa. The discrimination against traditionally feminine areas of work or study is a huge frustration to me. I have nothing against stay-at-home moms (or dads), it is their personal choice. My work is to ensure that she and her daughters have enough education to make a conscious and informed decision about their life choices, and that they have a support system to help them if they fall through the areas of society that still need fixing. (sexual assault, domestic violence, equal access, pay equity and that damned glass ceiling to name a few).
Solidarity. Come on ladies, you know you like being able to vote and go to school and find a career that you love. No more pressure to just get married, have kids and give up all your hopes, goals and dreams. The world is yours. That is all because of feminists. Women like Mary Wollstonecraft, Nellie McLung, Agnes MacPhail, Eleanor Roosevelt, Gloria Steinem, bell hooks, and many, many more.
lol
But seriously, respect women and they’ll return the favour. We are not higher or lower than you. (And please don’t just assume that feminists think they are above guys. We really don’t). We are your equals, in spirit if not physical strength. We are your mother, sister, future daughters and girlfriends/partners/wives. Do your part to discredit the oppressive attitudes of the past. You will be creating a safer place for your children or nieces or nephews to be raised in.
So go ahead, tell me my place is in the kitchen. Yours is at the stove, while I sit at the kitchen table and enjoy whatever you have lovingly prepared for me to eat. I’ll make dinner next time, or bake up something delicious for dessert.
[rant over <3 ]
“Feminism has fought no wars.It has killed no opponents.It has set up no concentration camps,starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties.Its battles have been for education, for the vote,for better working conditions …for safety on the streets, for child care, for social welfare…for rape crisis clinics, women’s refuges, reforms in the laws.If someone says, “Oh, I’m not a feminist!”, I ask,”Why? What’s your problem?” :by Dale Spender ‘For The Record: The Making and Meaning of Feminist Knowledge’
3 responses so far ↓
Marie Starr // September 22, 2008 at 4:21 pm |
As far as I can see, we’re stuck … the propaganda created & updated to keep both men and women invested in the stereotypical idea that all feminists are angry, man-hating, bra-burning dykes keeps the whole issue of equality polarized, maintaining the “us” or “them” paradigm we humans hate to admit to, but still invest in so heavily.
The Women’s Movement created many opportunities for women that were not available before, but also created many problems that have yet to be resolved, not only for women but also for men.
What we need is a Men’s Movement. Sure, some say a Men’s Movement exists, and it does to an extent. But it doesn’t have the same urgency as the Women’s Movement. Both entail fighting for the freedom to be ourselves, but women are motivated by a history in which they have been systematically oppressed. Men don’t have that same motivation. In many ways, men don’t believe it benefits them to work toward a society in which both sexes are seen as and treated as equals.
Unfortunately, many women also don’t believe the Women’s Movement has benefited them. Women who have found themselves sexualized and objectified from a young age, something that was not openly accepted and promoted before the sexual revolution. Women who find themselves working and still being the primary caregivers, whether it is within a marriage or outside a marriage, torn by commitment to themselves and to their children, getting only part of what they fought for: the equitable distribution of outside work (most often without the equitable pay) without the actual equal distribution of responsibilities in the home (read as: Women’s Work). Women who are fighting to make ends meet in a culture where they are not compensated fairly for the work they do either inside or outside the home.
Until a critical mass is reached where both men and women believe equality is more beneficial to them than inequality, we are stuck. And unless a critical mass is reached where both men and women stop subscribing to the stereotypes which limit us from seeing reality and keep us believing it’s “us” or “them,” we’ll keep getting stuck on semantics.
Despite all this, I believe we should keep trying to make a difference, trying to promote equality, trying to create a paradigm in which both women and men are allowed to be true to who they are, what they feel, and what they want, not defined or overly-influenced by culture’s expectations of what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman.
We should keep working toward the possibility, as impossible as it may sometimes seem. We create stepping stones with our lives, with the actions we take every day, that move all of us closer to the other side. What may sometimes seem impossible now, will someday be within reach, just as many of the opportunities we take for granted today seemed like an impossibility until people continued to move in the direction of change.
If we can get over the semantics which feed the stereotypes, if we can view feminism as bell hooks does, as a struggle against sexism, we can move toward that possibility. This year, our democratic candidates for President were a woman and a non-white man. And the Republican candidate had chosen a female running mate. Granted I don’t believe this particular woman candidate is the best candidate for promoting a government that promotes either racial or gender equality, but she is a woman.
However, just because a woman is a woman, doesn’t mean she will do more to benefit women than a man would. If we make that assumption, we are the ones being sexist. And if we subscribe to bell hook’s definition of feminism as fighting sexism, which I do, it goes against the very core of the beliefs we are fighting for.
If we are demanding equality, are demanding that we be seen and judged and rewarded based on our individual skills, talents, and actions rather than our gender, then we must also be committed to see, judge and reward others based on their skills, talents, and actions rather than their gender.
Of course I want to see a woman in the White House. I also want to see someone who is not White in the White House. Both are long overdue. But, in the end, we cannot vote based on race or gender without following the same rationale of those who would not vote for someone based on their race or gender.
We must vote for the candidate we feel has the skills, the talents, the ability to lead our country in the direction we believe we should go in. We must do that by looking at many things: their character, their words, their actions, their focus, their history. We must not do that by voting for, or against, them because of their race or gender. This is the double-edged sword it is so easy to be cut by.
It is my hope that we will all go to the polls voting for the individual we believe is best suited to the role, regardless of their race or gender and that we will continue to work toward a society in which, someday, neither of these classifications will play a part in deciding whether someone is the right person for the job. It’s my hope that we all continue to take daily actions, continue to create stepping stones for ourselves and for others, based on what we believe is right, not what we are led to believe. It’s my hope that we’ll get over the semantics, get over the stereotypes and focus on what’s real.
flookie // September 24, 2008 at 2:25 am |
someone want to post that comment as a new post?
see, now, i do have a problem with the discussion of the ’stigma’ of feminism and the tendency to reproduce the stereotype by denying the stereotype.
when feminists of a certain flavour adamantly state that they are not dykey, hairy, bra-burning granolas, it is the new rejection of that identity.
in an attempt to feign diversity in the movement, the hairy granola feminists are constantly denigrated by women whose only way of stipulating their feminism is through the denigration of that feminist. i think thats unfair. i dont shave my legs. the next ‘next’ stigma will be, im not a high-femme feminist, i dont talk about not burning bras, i dont love to disclose that i do or do not shave… you see where im going?
like, why is the conversation even about ones appearance? isnt that the internalization of the gaze? why is the burden of qualifying my feminism on how i perceive and interact/alter my body?
why are we still being confessional about our bodies when we are trying to talk about the issues on the stands?
ideally it wouldnt be about whether you do or do not shave, or whether you are high femme and love bras or butchie and hate bras, it would be about the contents of our minds, our ideas, what we do in our spare time, and not confessional talks about how we treat our bodies.
thats just the ole two cents. i personally feel a bit attacked when granola feminists are used as a metaphor for the old feminists, and i dont know why we allow the conversations to revolve around being confessional revelations about bodies.
jamie // March 25, 2009 at 12:33 pm |
i guess the granola-dykes were people too, right? each with their own values and unique perspective and personal story to tell, whether that was burning a bra or mebbe choosing not to…as tempting as it is to see modern feminism as more decidedly individual-based, there remains a fine balance between articulating a collective senibility versus the power and nuance of the solo voice…it is the strength of our individual stories – and making room for real diversity and tolerance within our ranks – that is the only way to stay relevant and on message.
jamie
hey, i’m a guy, so what do i know?
‘first-time caller’, nice site…thanks
j