I don’t care if you are pro-choice, guy.

Chelsea Flook

That’s right. y’eard me.

rant time.

Listen: i really do not care much at all if you are a pro-choice fella. Because currently, all that means is that you think I should have a right to choose what happens to my body. To me, that’s a bit of a no-brainer. To act as if it’s really a brave, anti-oppressive opinion though, Pffft. Get over yourself.

Okay, so how many “progressive” guys trot out the pro-choice line in our wheelings and dealings? How many conversations have I had about panties, condoms, birth control, and the looming threat always overhead of abortion?

To me, a guy being pro-choice as it currently is meant in my context, is a cop out.

Y’eard me.

Because what, exactly, really, does this mean?

Sometimes in my head it sounds more like this:

I am pro-choice about you taking all the responsibility into your body, I am pro-choice about you choosing an incredibly invasive, complicated, and controversial procedure done to your body.

Most of these pro-choice poots that I’ve raised this with are incredibly hostile to the notion of the invasive procedure, and hence, the shift in the debate, being placed on their bodies. I’m talking about a good ole Vasectomy.

First thing you might be thinking is, well, vasectomies are more complicated and not reversible, but lo and behold, they have better reversibility rates now than ever before. And if you are really concerned about contributing to this cesspool of human genes with your own, you can sperm bank it for insurance purposes.

Part of the problem is, who was ever taught about the viability of vasectomies? That’s right, we weren’t. We were spooked off of it. But, and since this is a short rant, if you look into the comparative rates of recoveries, complications, and the ultimate problem of conception after these procedures, vasectomies are a pretty good investment, as far as viability goes. Unless, y’know, damaging the womb is an acceptable procedure, which as it stands is the current cop-out right now.

And really, what’s more invasive? Have you ever had an abortion, or looked up the procedures thereof? Just think about it, balls cut vs. complicated artificial dilating procedures followed by hoovering tube.

Voila. As you can see, I am vehemently pro-choice about men getting vasectomies. In fact, I might pressure them to do so, since I’m not ready in my life to have an abortion.

The greatest thing about a guy being pro-choice about his ability to have a vasectomy, is that it shifts the entire debate from my body to his. With a few deft strokes of the pen. Why dont you get a vasectomy, and that way nobody can ever throw me into a spiral of postpartum depression when they throw pictures of aborted fetuses in my path. Instead, we’d have pictures of vasectomies gone wrong, I suppose. Still, why dont you live with all of that for a while, I’m tie tie of being everyones moral punching bag.